13 Pound Waterloo

Fabu update from the Ethiopian home office. My boy - Misho the Magnificant - is now clocking in at over 13 pounds! The sumo-wrestler visualization techniques are working! To celebrate, let's call in the professionals. The sexiest, most charismatic video ever. Waterloo.

Sing it out Sweden.

They said it would happen, but I didn't believe them...

Today for the first time, reality set in. They, them, those people, said I would one day wake up, probably a couple of weeks before travel to pick up Misho, and truly realize just what we’ve done. I stayed home today due to some uterine issues (no need for details), and as I lie on the couch innocently enough watching The View (official public excuse: in too much pain to turn channel), it hit me like a dump truck full of play dough.

Holy hell. I’m going to be a mom.

This child will be with us for the rest of our days. We are irreversibly attached to and reconstructing our lives to accommodate another living breathing thing. And not a living breathing thing that can rest comfortably in most cases on the floor, pee on outdoor objects, and seem somewhat satisfied with a bowl of kibble. But rather a living breathing thing whose needs will be complex, mulit-layered, and perhaps even a little weird. I will be the primary caretaker of this human being. Or my “son”, as we’re now calling him.

Misho will stare at me and expect things. Holy shit. I’m going to have to know things. Mom things. Where to wipe and what to stick into his mouth. We have to hang out, A LOT, with no option to not. He might think I’m rather odd and smell funny, but whatever buddy, no changing cliques this time. I may be driving down the road, singing my favorite disco hit, and bam, realize that there is a baby in the back seat, and I’m not dropping him off somewhere.

Now, this is not the charming and heartwarming welcome letters that mothers put together for their children on their blogs. This is a declaration of panic. We’ve been trying to start a family for upward of six years now, and boom, we’re finally here. Almost. And will I let him read about my panic? Of course. Just to demonstrate how friggin seriously I took this mommy enterprise. How life altering. How ginormous. How seriously I took the job that I had a panic attack in my dark basement and almost ate an entire jar of peanut butter while the dogs looked helplessly on.

I’ve also noticed that my pants seem to have crept higher up my torso. Even my super hip-hugging pipe jeans seem to be on a journey toward my chin. How did the zipper and button crawl their way up past my belly button? Oh yeah, crap. I’m a mom.

I heart Dolly

Damn I love Dolly Parton. If I could find a way to wake up and dress up like that everyday....well....I probably wouldn't do it for long. But at least a week!

Saw her in May and she was unbelieveable. Me, my husband, bunch of country-lovin folk, and a whole mess of drag queens.

Here's her new single Shinola.

The lyrics are something else.

I've been spending alot of time on You Tube, looking for fave videos and songs while waiting for the none too timely arrival of Mr. Misho. Expect to see some crazy posts in the ensuing three weeks before departure. Many postings will come late at night.

Beware. Could get weird.

Camels and porn

OCTOBER 2ND - Mom's birthday, and the launch of our official pick up date of Mr. M. We finalized the travel itinerary today with a departure of September 26th, two nights in Dubai (at a hotel next to a camel racing track - yes I said camel), arrival in Addis on September 29th, lolly gag around Addis, and then torpedo into the care center on October 2nd - actually the 3rd, but it's Mom's birthday, so we're calling it the 2nd.

We'll be flying the Emirate skies which supposedly is the closest thing to nirvana you will ever have. Supposedly, it makes Singapore Air look like Aeroflot. Here is the video for the first class lounge services, in aire, in the new Airbus 380 (though, we would have to sell an organ to fly first class, so no, we're not). I truly believe they recruited an ex porn movie director. The lingering glances and the weird bar loitering cannot be ignored.

Enjoy the "friendly" and strangely choreographed skies.

The Shower. As it happened. No editing.

Alright kids. Here's the Mono-tage of the best baby shower in the universe. I tried to keep my knees glued together during the present opening segment, but I may have shot out a crotch peek inadvertantly. So apologies to the weak of heart.

Anyway, here tis. We had a most spectacular time.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Misho, are you ready for your close up?

We got the birth certificate!!!! And with it, this beautiful photo of our stunned little guy! It's clearly a "what the..?" kind of moment. We don't have a travel date, which is pissing me off to no end. Everyone on the forum who has received their birth certificate got a travel date...except us. Friggin frack. Not getting much detailed response from our social worker except that they're finalizing the travel groups. Finalizing for everyone but us!

I smell a gnome.

For now....enjoy my baby's eyes.

Somebody Kill Me...

Over four weeks since making it through court. Still no birth certificate. Still no travel date. Is this the work of a gnome? Are there shenanigans going on that will muck up the pick up of our son?

I'll pay the ransom! Just tell me what you want gnomes!

In the meantime, here's some things I've been doing to pass the time...