Saturday, December 20, 2008

Santa meet Misho, Misho meet some crazy guy in a slightly yellowing beard

20 December 2008 - Misho had his very first consultation with Santa. Quite the moment. Handled it very well. Stared at him with his now well known "what the...?" look, and then looked at us for explanation that we could not provide. Yes, it's a man in a red suit who smells like whiskey. Ask him for things, and he'll bring them. We don't know why.

The best part of the day was the Santa meltdown. Apparently, Santa needed a break and a poor security guard let two more families in line (we were one of them) after break was supposedly called. Santa briefly sighed, and began a rather extensive, and animated hissy fit. Now mind you, this was an authentic looking Santa. Real beard. Old. White. Crusty. So the hissy fit was priceless. When he looked at the back of the line at the two additional families not previously approved before breaktime (I waved at him), he blew a gasket. Got all like "no you didn't" on the elves and white gloved hands were a'flyin and I believe I heard him say "fuck." So, I did not think our "consultation" would go very well. I'm assumed he probably had to pee really bad, and most likely, did not have the prostate to support the urgency. Finally get to the front of the line, Santa beckons us. I'm thinking, we're going to get plummeted by this elfin moron. He takes a look at Misho and melts before our eyes. "This is the most beautiful child I have ever seen. Where ever did you adopt him from?" Proceeded to go on about his love of adoption and how proud he was of us as parents, and blessed our child and us infinitely and beyond.

Now, I know, dear readers. We are the lucky ones. I know the debate about how to handle people who think you "saved" a child. We did not save Misho. We love him and hopefully one day, he will love us. But there is something kind of nice about Santa, a potentially violent Santa with a small prostate, telling you he's sending you something extra nice this year because he thinks your baby is cool. It's a very strange anthropological interchange that truly made the day quite special.

A very strange, yet memorable first Santa visit. Not to mention the family in front of us who dressed their two sweet innocent boys in white turtle necks and maroon sweater vests. I mean, what the..?

The voice of Nat King Cole is the salve for all that ails me.


Daddy said...

Additional tidbit -- while waiting for the pictures to print I saw a brown paper bag on the counter next to the register. I asked the elf, "You get to eat soon, eh?" (Elves are hard to talk to). She replied, "No. That's Santa's. He likes Potbelly." Indeed he does.

paige said...

They totally lie--Santa only eats cookies

Sounds like a fabulous first Santa sighting--prostate issues and all.

Merry Everything, happy family!

Holly Fisher said...

OMG, that is a hilarious post! Thanks, I needed a laugh!

Sarah said...

he (misho) looks like he's recovering well in his bumbo after the santa affair. what a fabulous christmas for all-- elves included.

ps- hope I'm not blackballed due to our elvis costello disagreements.....