Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The F-Bomb

It is very possible, very predictable that our son's first word may very well be the F-word. We aren't crude people necessarily, but we do use profanity when and if it is absolutely necessary; which equates to, in this raw city of Chicago, about a dozen times a day. Its a hard world that calls for a hard response.

At times.

So, the trick here is to teach our little guy to use profanity as it was meant to be used; wisely, poetically, and only at the right time.

For example, if you are on the playground and some clod womps you on the head to get to your legos, you don't pull out the f-bomb right away. You wait. Quietly. And if he or she does it twice, internal mental negotiations take place. And you may have to pull out the big guns.

Now, I can feel the hard, judgemental gaze of Claire H. over there on the sidebar: "any child of mine that used the f-bomb would find some sort of mom bomb coming right at them." (that is a direct quote from the Cosby show). Obviously, my profanity strategies would not bode well in the Huxtable household, and I'm fearing my muse is quickly turning into my Superego. I can feel her; assessing me from her law degree-ed, I-can-easily-handle-more-than-one-infant, tightly belted high horse.

She's judging me people. I can feel it. What do I do? Ignore it, or continue to have conversations with the Great Claire H in my head until a resolution is reached.

As you can tell by the direction of this entry, I'm sleep deprived. And by the way, Claire Huxtable was from the 80s, so I did break some rules to get her nominated. Bitch.

Shelby

P.S. - I'm assuming I will receive some hate mail for calling Claire Huxtable the B-word. But, I'm in a mood, and she has been given me some high and mighty looks lately, and it's pissing me off.

F-word.

Gratuitous Misho shot:

5 comments:

Cindy said...

LOL!!I haven't enjoyed a post that much in days!!
Good Luck on the sleep thing :)

-C said...

Hilarious. My kids have been known to give me lashings for dropping the F-bomb. They prefer saying G*d*mmit, which they learned from their father while driving.

C-

-C said...

Oh- just to clarify. Their father drives the car, not the other way around.


C-

paige said...

Oh C--how I love thee!

My children have definitely learned what they live, although for some reason, Elliott thinks that cr@p is the WORST obscenity ever. And really, what's cuter than a two year old who says damnit? I see no on is answering. i guess i've made my point...

Anonymous said...

It all goes back to my original recommendation letter...I believe it went something like this: "Shelby and David are well-traveled and speak several languages...they show their multi-lingual skills by cussing in Spanish, French, Arabic, Latin, and more on a regular basis.